GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
