I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
