ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
