this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He better not be in your backpack
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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