Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Randomize
