Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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