Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
