In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
