i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
the condom got lost in my hair
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
