I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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