I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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