She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
