saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
