can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
