erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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