Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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