I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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