I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
