No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
