TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
what day is it and did you see me today?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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