Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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