Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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