white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
