He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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