so explain again why im purple
no
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
