yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
