i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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