Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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