Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
