She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
