Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
