I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
