He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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