When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
