why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
