at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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