i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
