She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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