And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
