she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I love you. Go after that dick
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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