I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
