We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
