How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
false alarm, still single
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
