he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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