I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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