yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
