yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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