i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
