I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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