exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
