my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
