Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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