I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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