it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
